Looking for love - career - in all the wrong places?

Today we’re diving into a topic that resonates with so many of us: looking for love—or, more accurately, looking for career satisfaction—in all the wrong places.

We’ve all heard the song by Johnny Lee, 'Looking for Love,' and those famous lines:

'I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places, 

Lookin' for love in too many faces.'

Now, let’s think about those lyrics, but in the context of our careers. How often do we find ourselves searching for job satisfaction in all the wrong places?

Maybe we’re bouncing from one job to another, hoping that the next one will be 'the one.' Or maybe we’re trying to please everyone around us—our boss, our colleagues, even our family—without ever stopping to ask ourselves, ‘What do I really want?’

The truth is, when you don’t know what you want, you end up trying to be everything to everyone.

And that, my friends, is a recipe for burnout, frustration, and feeling stuck. It’s like being in a constant state of dating, but never finding that connection, that passion, that spark. You’re looking for something, but you’re not even sure what it is, so you settle for whatever comes along.

So, how do we break this cycle? How do we stop looking for love—or career satisfaction—in all the wrong places?

 It starts with getting clear on what you truly want. And this is where coaching can play a pivotal role. A coach can help you shift through the noise and the expectations that others place on you. They ask the tough questions, the ones that make you really think: ‘What are your goals? What are your values? What drives you?’

Coaching is like having someone hold up a mirror, helping you see yourself and your desires clearly. It’s about aligning your actions with your true aspirations.

Because here’s the thing: when you know what you want, you stop chasing after every opportunity that comes your way. Instead, you become intentional about your choices. You start looking for the right opportunities that align with your goals.

And this doesn’t just apply to job hunting—it’s about building a career that’s fulfilling, meaningful, and aligned with who you are. When you have clarity, you’re no longer swayed by the latest trend or by what everyone else is doing. You stop looking for love in all the wrong places and start building something real, something that lasts.

Think about it this way: if you don’t know what you’re looking for, how will you know when you’ve found it?

This is where so many people get stuck—they keep searching, hoping that the next job or the next promotion will bring them happiness, but they’re looking outside of themselves for something that can only be found within.

So, my challenge to you today is this: take a moment to reflect on your career. Are you chasing after something that doesn’t align with your true desires? Are you saying ‘yes’ to opportunities that don’t light you up, just because you think you should? If so, it might be time to hit pause and get some clarity.

And if you’re feeling lost, remember that you don’t have to figure it all out on your own. A coach can be a powerful ally in helping you discover what you really want and how to get there. They can help you stop looking in all the wrong places and start focusing on what truly matters.

I want to share a true story about one of my clients—let’s call her Susan. Susan’s story is a perfect example of what we’ve been talking about today: how gaining clarity can transform not just your career, but your entire outlook on life.

Susan is a remarkable woman in her fifties, with years of experience under her belt. But despite her dedication and hard work, she found herself feeling increasingly frustrated in her job. She felt undervalued, unseen, and unheard by the Managing Director at her company.

For years, she longed for new challenges and responsibilities, but they never came. Her self-esteem took a hit, and she began to feel stuck, questioning her worth and wondering if it was time to find a new job altogether.

When Susan came to me for coaching, she was ready to throw in the towel. She wanted to start fresh somewhere new, hoping that a change of scenery would bring her the fulfillment she was missing. But underneath that desire was a woman whose confidence had been chipped away by years of feeling overlooked.

In our coaching sessions, we worked on rebuilding Susan’s confidence and helping her reconnect with her strengths and mental resources. Which she, by the way, had plenty of, only they had been hidden. We explored what she truly wanted in her career—not what she wanted to escape from, but what she wanted to move toward. As Susan gained clarity and trust in herself, something amazing happened: she started getting invitations to job interviews. She even received a job offer.

But then, something unexpected happened. The Managing Director, the one who had never seen or heard her, was fired. A new Managing Director was brought in, and Susan decided to give him a chance. After all, she liked her colleagues, and the company was financially stable. Why not see if things could change?

Just a month into the new MD’s tenure, Susan was called into his office. To her surprise, he offered her the exact role she had been longing for all those years. The job, she had dreamed about when the old MD was in charge, was finally hers.

Susan’s story is a powerful reminder that sometimes, the change we seek isn’t about running away from a bad situation, but about gaining the clarity and confidence to stand our ground and create the change we desire. Her experience shows that when you trust in yourself and know your worth, opportunities can present themselves in the most unexpected ways.

It’s easy to feel trapped when we’re in a situation that doesn’t fulfill us, but Susan’s journey highlights the importance of clarity and patience. By taking the time to understand what she truly wanted and by rebuilding her self-esteem, she was able to navigate her career with newfound confidence. And in the end, she didn’t just find a new job—she found the role she had always wanted, right where she was.

"So, if you’re feeling stuck or unappreciated in your career, remember Susan’s story. Take a moment to reflect on what you truly want, and don’t be afraid to seek out the support you need to get there. Whether it’s through coaching or simply giving yourself the time and space to gain clarity, you have the power to transform your situation. Sometimes, the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for is closer than you think.

I encourage you to think about where you might be looking for satisfaction in the wrong places. Are you chasing after something new when the change you need could happen right where you are? Or are you holding yourself back because you don’t truly believe you deserve more? Remember, clarity is the key to unlocking your potential.

Remember, the path to a fulfilling career starts with knowing what you truly want. So, stop chasing after what you think you should want, and start focusing on what really matters to you.

Hopefully Susan’s story has inspired you to look at your own career journey in a new light.

If you are interested in learning more about how career coaching can help you during these challenging times, you can reach out for a free consultation!

Until next time, stay focused, stay true to yourself, and remember: what you focus on grows.