Are you living the "when-then" life?

"Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon

Do you recognise these thoughts:

• When I have a couple more years of experience, then I'll apply for a managerial position.

• When it's my next performance review time, then I'll ask for more interesting tasks that take me further in my career.

• When the kids are older, then I'll take time for myself and start exercising.

• When my partner's work-related travel calms down, then it's my turn to advance in my career.

• When I finish this project, then I'll take a proper vacation and contemplate my future.

• When I win the lottery, then I'll speak frankly to my boss.

Indeed, the "when-then" is present in all of our lives at some point. The ultimate "when-then" statement is, of course, "When I retire, then I'll travel." Often, the "when-then" keeps slipping further away, and sometimes it never comes.

Why not "now"? Are you sure you're not ready already? How would it sound if you changed your mindset?

• Now that I already have experience, I'm applying for a managerial position.

• Now that the manager is at work, I'll ask for 15 minutes of their time and explain why I need new types of tasks.

• Now that the children are young, I'll make time for myself and start exercising, so I can keep up with them in the future. I'll go for a run three times a week, early in the morning or later in the evening.

• Now that my partner travels a lot for work, I also have the opportunity to advance in my career. Our relationship doesn't have to be a zero-sum game; we can both pursue our goals.

• Now that I've finished this project, I'll take a proper vacation and contemplate my future, without immediately volunteering for new projects.

• Now that I'm going to see my boss next time, I'll ask for time to talk and constructively explain why I find their behaviour unpleasant.

Words shape our reality, and our thinking guides our actions, so it's worth being careful about what we think. Someone once said that all the reasons that prevent us from acting are excuses. Of course, there are valid and very good reasons to stop chasing all our desires; as one grows older, one also learns that some dreams and "when-thens" deserve a place in the garbage bin.

I don't like the dream frenzy, and I don't want to preach to others that everything you want can come true and that you're capable of "anything." Not everyone is suited for everything, but everyone can find a place where they feel they can fulfil themselves without harming others.

It's worth staying away from the keeping up with the Joneses effect: your goal might not necessarily be a high position in a large, listed company, even if your college friend is aiming for it. Your goal might be, for example, a specialist task requiring profound expertise and contemplation, or being your boss in your own company.

Don't wait for miracles. Make them happen! Implementation is what matters, and a dream is not a plan. That's why we don't make dreams or any other “floating” maps, even though one of coaching's strongest questions is: What would you do for work if everything in this world were possible for you? And what's stopping you from implementing this idea?

Why not start by booking a free 30 minute call and discuss your situation with me! NO strings attached, I’m confident enough not to engage in push selling.